Two or one or two in one?

Shalom and thank you for turning to us. Your dilemma is very understandable. You wish to carry out the important mitzvah of saying Kaddish for the soul of your loved one. On the other hand, you do not want to neglect your small community and leave them when you may be the tenth man, and thus cause them to lose the chance for a minyan, and this very commendable. It is written in Job 36:5, “Behold the L-rd will not despise the prayer of the many…” When an individual prays on his own, he may not have enough merits,  but the moment we are talking about a congregation, the merits are combined, and thus the prayer is more likely to be accepted. (Of course sincere prayer always has potential to break through barriers.)

Actually you can do both, you can stay with your community,  because it truly is an important mitzvah to pray in a minyan,  and you can make sure the Kaddish will be said for the soul of the departed. This is done by paying someone to say the Kaddish. It is an accepted practice and there are many organizations or known individuals in communities who take it upon themselves to say Kaddish for people. If you are not able to locate such people,  you can turn to us again.

Of course, on those occasions when you are praying with your community and there IS a minyan, you can also say the Kaddish and you should indeed do so.

May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Yerushalayim and may we all merit the fulfillment of the prophesy:

“They shall awaken and sing, the dwellers of the dust…” (Isaiah 26:19) with the coming of Moshiach speedily in our day!