Shalom and thank you for your question! You explain that your mother requested something, your brother indicated that he would take care of it, but you were quicker and took care of it. The main thing is that your mother had her wish fulfilled, and could see that her children were trying to carry out that wish. When everyone concerned is trying to do their best, it’s a win-win situation. It is true that had you enabled your brother to do the Mitzvah, it would have been a kindness to him, and if he is older than you, you would have also earned another Mitzvah, that of honoring an older sibling. Nevertheless, as mentioned above, the main thing is the deed. Your mother’s wish was carried out. Honoring an older brother or sister is also a Mitzvah that can be deduced from the fact that the Torah states “Kabed et avicha v’et imecha,” “Respect your father and your mother,” the Hebrew word ‘et’ which doesn’t have an exact parallel in the English language, is interpreted by the accepted Torah commentaries, as referring to older siblings as well as to parents, in this context.
Let’s examine some deeper levels of this Mitzvah
In truth, parents and children have an essential connection that is as if they were one body, so that the relationship between them really affects every aspect of their lives, even though we don’t necessarily realize how much this is so in our day to day lives. This relationship serves to teach us about our relationship as Jews to G-d, who is our Heavenly Father. When you love someone, it is important to you to fulfill their wishes. G-d gives us his loving instructions in the Torah, and we lovingly carry them out in return.
The Tanya is an important book of Chassidic teaching, by Rabbi Shneor Zalman of Liady, the first Lubavitcher Rebbe. In this book, Rabbi Shneor Zalman explains inner spiritual workings in the connection of the Jew to G-d and to Torah and Mitzvot. There he explains that on a spiritual level, there are energies called ‘Father’ and ‘Mother’, which are the origins of the whole concept of earthly fathers and mothers. In other words, here on ‘earth’, that is, in the physical world that we know and relate to, fathers are fathers, and mothers are mothers, because in the spiritual worlds, there are these energies of ‘Father’ and ‘Mother’, which correspond to ‘Chochmah’ and ‘Binah’, which can be translated as Wisdom and Understanding.
The spark of ‘wisdom’ is the idea which we learn or think of, and the process of ‘understanding’ is how we translate that idea into action. This is like parents getting married and having children.
It is considered that honoring one’s parents is like honoring G-d Himself, for G-d is a ‘partner’ in the creation of the child. The Gemarah relates the story of one of the Sages,Rabbi Tarfon, who honored his mother so carefully, that when her sandal broke as she was walking in the garden, he placed his hand under her foot as she walked all the way back to the house, so that she would not have to step on sharp objects or such things, that might hurt her. There follows much discussion in the Gemarah, and the gist of it is that even though this was a very fine thing to have done, Rabbi Tarfon had still not honored his mother as much as it is desirable to do!
Jewish law permits a parent to forego some of the honor due him, but not all.
We wish you continued success in keeping this special Mitzvah, as well all the other Mitzvot that a Jewish person can do, and it is a great idea also, to continue asking questions and learning, and have a guide or mentor to help with the learning process!
