Ask The Rabbi

Ask The Rabbi

category: 

Pathology or evil spirit?

The Rav Name:

My question revisits the notion whether pathological narcissism could be a manifestation of a form of demonic possession. My father is cliically diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, however on occassions his behavior warrants to question what exactly is in control of him.

My mom was worse to mention a sister from hell even worse and an ex-wife that gravitated into the family in accordance. I ran away from Israel back to the USA to distance myself. It is one manipulating the other, my kids in Israel have been harmed, while power is being taken away from me. My psychopathic sister with ex-wife incited the kids against me. These are very sick people.

Ironically, dad said that “the family is cursed” which is to deflect accountability of his own behavior to mention the horrors that he writes me. However revisiting this – divorces, career problems, mental health issues, and financial losses, perhaps there is merit to consider the notion of the family being cursed.

Perhaps it is time to visit a Kabbalist. I recited the Pulsa Dinoora against my sister for ruining my life , career and family. This monstor of a person enriched herself at the expense of others , ruining people’s lives, and the inevitable consequences on the reputation of an entire family. God knows with what she has implicated herself.














Chanuka Celebrations

Happy Chanuka!  are there halachos of a Chanuka seuda?

Do I need to make one each day of chanuka?

Answer

While on Purim there is a mitzva to have a festive meal commemorating the miracle, on Chanuka the obligation is to express our thanks to Hashem by reciting hallel and v’al hanisim, but there is no obligation to have a meal. Poskim explain the reason for the difference is that by  Purim the decree by Haman and Achasverosh  was on the  physical existence of the Jewish people , thus we celebrate with a physical feast, but by Chanuka the decree was aimed against our spiritual wellbeing, as the Greeks did not place a decree against the physical existence of the Jewish people rather only against the spiritual (the study of torah and the adherence of mitzvois) thus we celebrate in a more spiritual way by saying Hallel and giving thanks to Hashem.

Yet, Although the  Shulchan deems festive Chanuka feasts “optional,” the Rama records the custom to hold seudos since they commemorate the rededication of the mizbeiach and are therefore somewhat of a mitzva. And addtionaly he adds that by singing songs of praise to Hashem—or discussing Torah thoughts—at the meal, the seudah – meal is certainly upgraded to a seudas mitzva. Poskim emphasize that the festivity should be centered around Torah and not a vain party or card game.

It is interesting to note that the Rambam’s view, however, is that the days of Chanuka are “yemei simcha,” – “days of joy”  (this seemingly follows his opinion that the celebration of Chanukah is also on the physical victory of the war and not only on the miracle that the menorah burnt for eight days), and therefore according to the Rambam the festive meals held during the days of Chanuka are full-fledged seudos mitzva.6 The Rebbe said that just as by neiros Chanuka we perform the mitzva in the best way—“mehadrin min hamhadrin”—we should also be mehader to fulfill the Rambam’s opinion regarding feasts. Furthermore, being that the fulfilment of this mitzvah is voluntary it expresses a greater level of joy, (like the joy of hakafos which is a custom). this also demonstrate how we can infuse holiness into a mundane thing like a meal.

Which night should one choose to hold a Chanuka celebration?

Some poskim write that it is praiseworthy to hold these seudos every day of Chanuka. Some write that it is especially auspicious to make one on Rosh Chodesh Teves, and others prefer the last day, Zos Chanuka.

It is customary to eat milchig foods at a Chanuka feast in commemoration of the miracle of Yehudis who fed dairy to the Greek general and slew him. Additionally, the overturning of the Greeks’ scheme to make the Jews forget the Torah is comparable to Matan Torah which we also commemorate with dairy foods.

Since the meal is not obligatory, one doesn’t repeat bentching if they forget v’al hanisim. (likewise if one forgot v’al hanisim in shmoneh esreh he need not repeat shmone esreh)  Yet, it should be added as a “harachaman” at the end as indicated in the siddur.

Sources

 


משנ”ב או”ח סי’ תר”ע סק”ו.


ראה שו”ע שם ס”ב.


מקור חיים סי’ תר”ע ס”ב, וראה שו”ת מרש”ל סי’ פ”ה.


רמ”א שם ס”ב, וראה השלמה לשו”ע אדה”ז סי’ תר”ע ס”ג שכן נוהגין. י”א דוקא כשיש קצת מצוה בלא”ה, ו”א מצ”ע מספיק – ראה משנ”ב שם סק”ח, אבל ראה משמעות מהרש”ל יש”ש בב”ק פ”ז סי’ ל”ז.


ביה”ל שם ד”ה ונוהגין.


רמב”ם חנוכה פ”ג ה”ג, ובביאור דבריו ראה יש”ש בב”ק פ”ז סי’ ל”ז.


תו”מ התוועדויות תשמ”ט ח”ב ע’ 34.


חי’ הרי”ם חנוכה.


כף החיים סי’ תר”ע אות י”ג. וראה דרכי חיים ושלום אות תתי”ז בכל לילה.


כף החיים שם, ליקוטי מהרי”ח דיני ומנהגי חנוכה.


ראה רמ”א שם ס”ב.