Shalom and thank you for your question!
You and your grandson are concerned about a mock wedding that took place in his school and would like suggestions about how to address the issue. It is important to realize that a mock wedding in general is a precarious idea. You see according to Jewish law, (Halacha,) if a boy gives a girl an item of a certain value, like a ring, in front of witnesses and says “behold you are betrothed to me,” there is a possibility that they are legally married and would need a gett – a Jewish bill of divorce, to be able to marry someone else. Of course, if something like that happens, the details of the incident should be discussed with a competent Rabbi to see whether or not the ‘couple’ needs an official divorce.
In the case we are talking about, where there are two people of the same gender involved, there would not be an issue of potential Halachic marriage.
Today there is indeed a serious problem of rejecting traditional values of the basic family unit. While some say – why marry at all, others say, why not ‘marry’ the same gender?
Marriage is a G-dly institution laid out in the Torah.
When people study Torah seriously from the true sources with the commentaries, questions can fall away, if only one cares to ask. Let’s look at an example. If we wish to look at the Chumash, the Five books of Moses, as standing on it’s own without accepting Rabbinic commentary and law, we are in big trouble!!! The Torah says that if you gouged someone’s eye out, G-d forbid, then it is ‘an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ What this means according to the Oral law, (which was handed down through the generations from Moses onwards through the spiritual leaders of each generation,) is that if you cause someone bodily damage, you are obligated to pay for their medical expenses! It does not mean that we take vengeance and act with violence, G-d forbid.
We cannot force people to believe as we do. We can try to educate ourselves and others.
In this case, we need to employ a little Torah psychology. In the laws of how to respect parents, we are taught that if a child needs to contradict a parent concerning a matter of Torah law, the child should say something like: “Father, is it not written that…?” In other words, the child should present the matter as if he is requesting the parent’s help in understanding the sources, so that the parent’s pride will not be hurt. This is because the parent has an obligation to teach the child (or have the child taught, ) Torah. If the child contradicts the parent, it is as if they are negating the parent’s authority.
Here too, where your grandson is questioning the actions of his educators, it is very sensitive indeed. I suggest considering a couple of options. Either your grandson brings up the matter as a request for help in understanding what happened, or he doesn’t broach the topic at this stage with school administration, but continues to seek answers from reliable sources, if it seems that the school administration might take it negatively.
We hope this was helpful and you are welcome to turn to us if you have further questions.
Wishing you a healthy winter!
