Minyan or Music

Shalom and thank you for your question. You are a mature person who has decided that davening Mincha and Maariv in a minyan is important to you and would like to continue, and this is indeed very important and commendable. On the other hand you wish to honour your parents and you presumably are trying to avoid conflict, which is also very commendable.

There is an apparent conflict of interests. Although you note that you are able to play ‘a couple’ of musical instruments, you indicate that the motivation for this comes from your parents. It sounds like you need a third party involved to help you and your parents work out a plan that will suit both of you. A win-win plan. It is a very great gift to be able to play musical instruments and to have someone behind you enabling you to do so. It also should not have to be at the expense of your very legitimate desire to daven Minchah and Maariv in a minyan. Think about who might be a third party you could trust to handle the situation, if you have already tried and have not been successful. Perhaps it could be a teacher or family friend who knows you well? If you cannot think of someone like that, another option is to contact the nearest Chabad house to your area. If you explain the situation to the Chabad Shaliach, he may be willing and able to talk to your parents.

In Pirkei Avot 1:6 it says “Make for yourself a Rabbi and acquire for yourself a friend”. What this means for us is that we have to ‘make’ – that is – make an effort to have a relationship with, a Rabbi that can guide us in these kind of questions and dilemmas in life. To ‘acquire a friend’ means that we have to have a connection with friends who share our spiritual goals and are trying to go in a similar direction to us, so that we can strengthen each other in our spiritual journeys. When we have such friendships we can share and reflect each others’ struggles and this brings us closer to the path that G-d desires us to take.

You are welcome to turn to us again if need be. We hope this has been helpful.

Wishing you success in all your endeavours!