Ask The Rabbi

Ask The Rabbi

category:  Chassidut

Hello there. I hurt my husband by lying to him and now

Hello there. I hurt my husband by lying to him and now he feels unsure if he can stay married to me because I am not the person he thought I was. We have been married for 13 years and this lie from from the last year and a half. I lied to him about talking to my mother. We have had big problems with my parents being a negative force in our marriage. I agreed with him to distance myself. After a little time, I missed them terribly but my husband and I could never agree how to have them back in my life. After not being able to take not knowing about them or seeing them and after feeling like I would never be able to get my husband on board, I reached out to them and have been talking to them. I would erase my messages from them. I was afraid that since tomorrow is never promised that I would regret not reaching out and making peace with them before it was too late. I chose to lie and deceive my husband. How do I help fix this? I need your advice. Thank you!

Shalom and thank you for your question!
If you feel that there will be strife between you and your husband if he finds out about your contact with your parents, then you should not tell him. However, it is not a healthy situation that there should be no contact with them, and it is important to seek marriage counseling so that you can both resolve these issues and come to agreement about how to proceed. This is the best way to improve the situation, as opposed to having guilt feelings.

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