Divorce in a Jewish context

Shalom Andrea and thank you for turning to us. Your question is a complex one which really requires a personal conversation with an orthodox Rabbi who is qualified to decide law in the area of Jewish marriage. You see, for a Jewish marriage to be considered legal according to Jewish law, certain conditions must be met, and it is possible that your original marriage ceremony was lacking one or some of the requirements, in which case you may not actually need a divorce in the first place. The two witnesses at the ceremony for example, need to be unquestionably Jewish themselves, and not related to the bride or groom, and there are many more details involved, also with the Ketubah, the Jewish marriage contract.

If you have difficulty in locating a suitable Halachic authority, let us know where you live and we can try to find someone who may be able to help you with the information you need.

We wish you success with all your endeavors and recommend that you maintain a connection with a Rabbi and Rebbetzin in any case, because as it says in Pirkei Avot 1:6, “Make for yourself a Rabbi and acquire for yourself a friend”, meaning that it is important to have someone outside of yourself, with whom you can connect and who can help you navigate life’s situations and challenges through the eyes of what your spiritual goals ultimately are. Acquiring a ‘friend’ also refers to a friend with whom you share your life goals and spiritual aspirations. This is a healthy and enabling way to live, since human nature leads us to sometimes be too hard on ourselves or the opposite, too soft on ourselves. When we run our thoughts by someone that is outside of ourselves and has our best interests at heart, (often even if they are busy and cannot devote endless time to listen,)  we can obtain a more balanced approach to get to our goals.

You are definitely invited to turn to us again if you have further questions.