Shalom and thank you for your question! You ask about a custom of lighting Shabbat candles according to a certain numerical pattern. We are not familiar with this particular custom. However, we can have a look at the whole background to Shabbat candle-lighting. Ready? Let’s go!
The Torah commands us to “REMEMBER the Sabbath day and keep it holy.” (Exodus 20:8.) We are also commanded to “GUARD the Sabbath day and keep it holy, (Deuteronomy 5:12.) For this reason, although the mitzvah can be fulfilled technically by lighting one candle only, the practice is to light two. Men are equally obligated in the mitzvah, but are able to fulfill it by being included in their wife or mother’s candle-lighting. If however the wife or mother is unable to light, the husband should light instead, with a blessing, but only two candles, even if his wife is used to lighting more. The two candles may also represent the father and the mother. Many women are accustomed to lighting an additional candle for each child in the family.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe strongly emphasizes the importance of girls lighting Shabbat candles as well, from three years of age, but they should light one, before the mother. If it is a young girl, her mother can help her before lighting her own candles. As mentioned above, the mitzvah can be fulfilled with one candle, and the unmarried girl shows respect to her mother’s candle-lighting by lighting only one. The Shabbat candles should be lit before sunset. Candle-lighting times are available online, or on many Jewish calendars.
It is very good to give ‘charity’, (more correctly ‘Tzedaka,’ since it means justice. G-d gives us our income and it must be used to help others,) before candle-lighting, as it is good to start the day with it and to give at other opportunities such as before reciting prayers, cooking meals – and every possible opportunity. It is a spiritual investment that draws blessing down in all our actions.
The prophet Isaiah said, (58:13): “If you restrain your foot (from actions forbidden on the Sabbath,) because of the Sabbath, from doing your (mundane daily) activities and you call the Sabbath a delight…” this shows that we are meant to enjoy the Sabbath as well as being careful to do only those actions permitted on it. Light increases enjoyment, and since we are not allowed to light a fire ON the Sabbath, we light just before it so that we don’t sit in the dark. The famous scholar Maimonides (also known as Rambam,) considers Shabbat candles to be a means of enjoying the Sabbath. The Shulchan Aruch, (Code of Jewish law,) points out the importance of having a well lit home in preserving marital harmony. There are Talmudic and Kabbalistic sources for that. If people are stumbling in the dark they may come to grumble in the dark!
Since enjoyment of the candlelight is such an important factor, if a woman lit candles but for some reason did not say the blessing at the time that she lit, she may still make the blessing while the candles are alight, while still benefiting from their light.
Every commandment that we fulfill, whether from the Written Law or from the Oral law, draws down spiritual light into the world. The light of Shabbat candles lights up the world far more than our physical eyes can perceive! It is also taught that “If you keep the Sabbath lights, I will show you the lights of Zion,” – meaning the lights of the true and final Redemption! May it happen very soon!
