Shalom and thank you for your question! The performance of a Brit Milah is an integral part of the conversion procedure. It is not merely a ceremony. The first commandment that was performed by the first Jew, our forefather Abraham, was the covenant of circumcision. Abraham was called the ‘Ivri’, Hebrew. The word ‘Ivri’ comes from the root ‘eiver’, side. Abraham was, so to speak, on one ‘side of the river,’ while the rest of society, who worshipped idols, was on the other. Abraham founded monotheism, and G-d gave him a way to connect with him by performing the circumcision. This is a covenant of the flesh, in other words, a covenant that sanctifies the flesh. It elevates the physical aspect of life to the spiritual.
So what IS one supposed to do if there is a medical contraindication to performing the Mitzvah? This is a classic case of the need to consult privately with an Orthodox Rabbi, and explain the physical limitations. There are cases where a child is born circumcised, or a person converts but has already been circumcised through a medical procedure, but not in a religious manner. In such circumstances, a symbolic circumcision may be performed, where a drop of blood is drawn.
Your unique case may have a solution, but it must pass under the scrutiny of a highly qualified Rabbi, who has knowledge and experience in this specific field.
It is important to realize that if you are truly contemplating conversion, the Talmud, in the tractate ‘Ethics of the Fathers,’ (Pirkei Avot,) teaches that a person must designate a Rabbi (spiritual teacher and mentor, as well as teacher of Jewish law,) for himself, and acquire a friend – a person with whom he can share his concerns and struggles. (If you look up the nearest Chabad representatives in your area, they can hopefully direct you to someone thus qualified.)
This means that you need an environment where you can see how the commandments of the Torah are fulfilled, as well as a properly structured learning framework designed for people such as yourself who do not have (or not have much) previous background in Judaism. You need someone who can help you adapt to the new lifestyle. True conversion is for people who truly wish to accept upon themselves what is known as ‘the yoke of the commandments.’
Sometimes people take an interest in conversion, but find in the end that it isn’t the right thing for them. In such a case it is important to know that there are the Seven Noahide laws, which include setting up courts of justice, not committing adultery or idolatery, and more. These laws are intended for non-Jews to keep.
We wish you much success in your journey.
