Ask The Rabbi

Ask The Rabbi

category:  Chassidut

Birthdays of the deceased.

The Rav Name: Rabbi Yitzchak Arad

Hello,

My grandfather passed away. His Hebrew birthday is coming up this Sunday. Are there prayers or rituals that need to be done on his birthday or only on the day of his passing?

Thank you

Shalom and thank you for your question! You ask if there are any special customs or rituals to perform in honor of deceased loved ones.

I am not familiar with customs or rituals such as these, except for in the case of spiritual leaders of the Jewish nation. When the evil Haman drew lots for the ‘right’ day to exterminate the Jewish people, (G-d forbid,) the lot came out for the month of Adar. Haman was gleeful, for he knew that Moses, the leader of the Jews, had passed away during Adar, so he thought it was a day of bad luck for the Jewish people. What he did not know however, was the fact that Moses was also BORN in Adar, and thus that month was indeed a LUCKY month.

Moses died on his birthday, and this was a good omen. Completing full years in terms of the calendar, reflects the spiritual wholeness and completeness of the life of the spiritual leader, the Tzaddik.

For regular people, who are not on such a high spiritual level, we bless each other to live a hundred and twenty years, as Moses did, because we aspire to do the best we can to resemble Tzaddikim and live in the most spiritually complete way we can.



With reference to your question, there is something that can be done for the soul of the deceased on his or her birthday. That is to say the chapter of Tehillim that corresponds with the age the person would be… For example. If the person passed away last year, 5781 on the Hebrew calendar, and he was 75, then on his birthday you can read the 76th psalm. The following year you would read the 77th psalm.



More things that are always good for the souls of the deceased, are learning Torah, giving charity, and strengthening oneself in the performance of the Mitzvot. Making small resolutions from time to time, that you know you can keep, is an excellent way of making progress for you, and it will benefit both you and the soul of the deceased.

Sharing stories with family members about the positive impact of the deceased’s life is also something that can contribute to the continuity of the generations.

When the Moshiach arrives, (speedily in our days,) there will be the fulfillment of the prophecy, “those who sleep in the dust shall arise and sing.” May we see the fulfillment of this prophecy very soon! Your caring commitment to benefit your beloved family member can contribute!

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