Ask The Rabbi

נושא:

נותנת ולא מקבלת

כשאני נותנת מעצמי למישהי אחרת, ואני לא מקבלת שום דבר בחזרה, איך עליי להגיב? מה החסידות אומרת על כזה מצב?

שלום וברכה,
לא ברור משאלתך על איזה סיטואציה את מדברת, האם מדובר על נתינה למישהי ממשפחתך, כמו הילדה שלך, או אולי חברה וכדומה, או למישהו אחר, בסיטואציה כזו אחרת.
אם זה מישהו מהמשפחה, כמו הילדים שלנו, צריך להשתדל לנטרל ככל האפשר את הרצון לקבל חזרה.. אנו נותנים ללא התניה. זה לא אומר שחייבים תמיד לתת, אך כשנותנים אנו לא מצפים לתמורה. אנו כן יכולים מבחינת ההיבט החינוכי לרצות ולהשתדל שהילדה תהא לה הכרת הטוב וכדומה ולחנך אותה לזה, אך לא להיפגע ולצפות בתוכנו לקבל עבור הנתינה שלנו.
כשמדברים על מישהו אחר, צריך לראות שזה לא נהפך להיות ענין של ניצול. אבל באופן כללי מצד הנפש האלוקית, הנתינה היא ללא רצון לקבל חזרה, וכמשמע בתניא סוף פרק א', שנתינה מתוך אינטרס היא שייכת עדיין לישות של הנפש הבהמית. אם את בטוחה שהנתינה הזו היא חיובית, ותרמת לזו שאת נותנת לה, תחזקי את עצמך שאת עושה את רצון ה', וכמו שאת נותנת ללא תמורה, חסד חינם, בוודאי ה' ישפיע לך גם כן חסד חינם, גם אם אנו פחות ראויים על פי דין.
כאמור זה באופן כללי, ונראה שאת מדברת על משהו ספיציפי וקשה לענות ללא הפרטים מסביב.

מקורות

דעת ותבונה – יהדות באור החסידות והקבלה

אתר האינטרנט "דעת – יהדות באור החסידות והקבלה" מרכז מאגר תוכן עצום של נושאים שונים: חינוך, זוגיות, שלום בית, משמעות החיים , מודעות עצמית, מעגל השנה ועוד.. התוכן שבאתר מרוכז ברובו משיעורי הרב יצחק ערד – ראש ישיבת דעת וראש מכון דעת ותבונה – לימודי אימון וטיפול יהודי. מרכז דעת נותן שרות של יעוץ הלכתי, השקפתי ומשפחתי, על פי התורה והחסידות, לרבני ודייני קהילות ולאנשים פרטיים בארץ ובתפוצות. התשובות נענות על ידי צוות המשיבים של מרכז דעת. חלק מהתשובות מתפרסמות באתר זו במדור שאלות ותשובות.

עמודים

שו"ת

שו"ת משפחה והורות
שו"ת מודעות
שו"ת חסידות
שו"ת הלכה
שו"ת אמונה והשקפה
מקבצי שאלות בשו"ת

קטגוריות

סדרות שיעורים

תניא
תפילה
תער"ב
סוד המחשבה
דרכו של הבינוני
ביאורים בשער הביטחון
פרשת השבוע

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