Ask The Rabbi

Ask The Rabbi

category:  Other

Family (dis)unity

Hello!

Thank you for this opportunity. I have a situation with my family. My father is taking care of my grandmother, and they live together in his house. My Aunt (my grandmother’s daughter) and my father are not currently getting along. Because of the disagreements and arguments between each other (my father and my aunt), my father has decided that he will not communicate with my aunt at all, and thus my grandmother also does not communicate. My grandmother’s 101st birthday is approaching (on 10/22), but her hebrew birthday just passed. My aunt is really hoping for the opportunity to speak with her mother, and I also feel like it’s a fair request to my father, even despite the current feelings my father and aunt have for each other. My question is this: Are there any specific laws or rights my father has to be able to refuse communication? My thought process leads me to believe that there are possibly scriptures or even chapters of tehilim that might address something like this. I know there is “Lashon Hara,” which regards to speaking about someone negatively. I know this has been taking place, because my grandmother has also been influenced negatively (probably because she hears my father’s frustrations post argument) in her opinions of my aunt. I’m trying to find a peaceful and logical way to help my aunt get to talk with her mother, and in such a way that goes with the religion. My father is very religious, and tries to do everything by the book. I’m also close with my father, and have the ability to talk to him man to man, but I would prefer to approach him with things he can read up on, and interpret in his own way, as opposed to just telling him that preventing his sister from talking to their mother is wrong.

Any help or guidance you could offer would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you!

There are no hard and fast rules about white shirts. In general, a white shirt is considered to be a modest but respectable garment, and a person should wear clothing that is respectable.


Also, part of the day is spent standing in prayer in front of the Creator, and this certainly warrants respectable attire.


In any case, the main thing is not the external garments, but rather the spiritual ones, namely, a person’s thought, speech, and deed. Physical clothing is only a means to the end, the goal being purity of spiritual garments.

Sources