Ask The Rabbi

Ask The Rabbi

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The Rav Name: Rabbi Yitzchak Arad

14. How is it best to behave towards people in the community, using the attribute of “Justice” or “Severity” when necessary without causing distance?
Three suggestions:
We must not err to the side of severity (strictness, withholding,) because if the severity is misplaced or overdone the results are liable to cause strife and distance in the extreme.
In order not to misuse the attribute of severity and lose the ability to have positive influence on your environment, here are three practical suggestions:
A. It is always worthwhile to use the attribute of severity in minimal dosage. Even if it is too weak, it can be increased if necessary. However if you start too strong, you will not have anyone left to deal with. If you begin with low dosage you are not risking distancing the other person or making him flee entirely.
B. The attribute of severity should be used after thought and planning, and not G d forbid out of heated negative emotions. By nature when a person is upset he spews out a lot of negative statements he wasn’t planning to say in the first place, therefore it is especially important to plan in advance exactly what you want to say, when and how, in a manner of ‘mind over heart’.
C. Don’t identify too strongly with anger and criticism, don’t internalize them. Remain indifferent to the feelings of anger and criticism, and make only a show of anger in a case that really calls for it. The Rambam says that anger is an attribute that has no place at all, and when a person needs to be angry and rebuke his family in order to put perspective on a deed which has been done, he must remain collected in his thoughts and only make a show of anger. That is to say, one should not actually identify with the feeling of anger, only use it as an external tool. One’s inner expression should be the attribute of kindness and mercy.

B”H

 

Generations of Mamzerut

 

Shalom and thank you for your question. You wish to know basically, for how many generations does mamzerut continue, and does that Halachic (Jewish legal) status cease after said amount of generations?

Firstly, let us make sure we are on the same page regarding the Halachic definition of mamzerut. (Illegitimate child according to Jewish law.)  According to Jewish law, a mamzer is a child from a relationship which would warrant the punishment of death or of Karet, being cut off from the Jewish people. This could be someone born from a relationship of incest between brother and sister, or from a relationship between a married woman with a man to whom she is not married. Even if a woman is separated from her husband but did not yet obtain a Get – a Halachic divorce, and her legal husband is still alive, a child born from a relationship with a different man will unfortunately be considered a mamzer. This applies even if divorce proceedings have begun. In our day, since we do not have the Temple and a Sanhedrin, a special body with the authority to carry out Halachic judgement, we believe that G-d metes out reward and punishment in His own way in a person’s lifetime or in a different incarnation.

 

A child born out of wedlock to a woman who is not married does not have mamzer status, even though this is not a permissible relationship.This applies even if the woman was ritually impure, in other words, had not immersed in a mikveh, a ritual bath, after her menstruation and subsequent seven days of no bleeding. Even though having a relationship with a woman in the ritually impure state is also a sin punishable by Karet, the sages of the Talmud maintain that this is an exceptional case. Despite this being considered a less than honorable ancestry, it does not at all prevent the child from being allowed to marry even into honored families of Cohanim. (Members of the Jewish priestly tribe.)

 

Regarding the amount of generations, although it says in Deuteronomy 23:3 “A mamzer shall not enter the congregation of the L-rd (marry into the Jewish people), according to the principles by which the Torah is interpreted, we learn that actually, unfortunately, the prohibition does not end at all. This is on the basis of the next verse there which says: “Nor shall an Ammonite or a Moabite enter the congregation of the L-rd forever.” Since the 10th generation is mentioned in both of the abovementioned verses, we learn that the ‘forever’ applies in both cases as well.

 

The sages ask: “What is a distortion which cannot be rectified? That which comes about through the birth of a mamzer through forbidden relationships.” (Chagigah 9:2) A convert IS allowed to marry a mamzer, however their children will retain the mamzer status and be in the same position. Due to this a convert will be reluctant to enter such a marital bond, in order not to cause problems for their future children.

 

There IS a factor which makes all of the above a little easier to bear. Halachically, if a person’s lineage is not known for sure, there is no obligation to check it out. We are indeed living in a difficult time because the moral structure of much of western society has changed to the point where people have lost track of the basic family unit. For many people it is no longer a frame of reference. For this reason it is a relief that, as I just mentioned, there is no obligation to check out whether or not a person is a mamzer. It is also important to realize that aside from the marriage restrictions, there are no other distinctions between a mamzer and another Jew. He or she can be a scholar and a productive member of society.

 

If the mamzer is the result of a relationship between a married woman and a man to whom she was not married at the time, Rabbinical authorities should be consulted. If they find something wrong with the woman’s marriage ceremony, something that was not conducted properly according to Halacha, there may be a way to clarify the status as being kosher. In each case it is worthwhile to consult a competent Rabbi to clarify one’s status.

 

Jewish belief is that G-d created and recreates the world constantly, in order for us to do our very best to study the Torah and keep G-d’s commandments despite the challenges, and by virtue of these efforts, the world will be rectified totally and the prophet Elijah will announce the Final Redemption, when there will be no more discord and negative occurrences. We hope and pray that this will happen soon!

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