Ask The Rabbi

Ask The Rabbi

category:  Marital harmony

Husband’s unacceptable behaviors

The Rav Name: Rabbi Yitzchak Arad

There are things about my husband that are totally unacceptable. He doesn’t get along with my family, argues with them all the time, and when I point it out to him he becomes more angry and insulted.

There are other behaviors of his that I find unacceptable, and that totally do not suit a married couple.

What should I do?

It is hard to answer this without knowing all the details. In general, a person finds it easier to accept criticism if he feels that his positive aspects are also seen and acknowledged, and he also feels respected and valued. Try to verbally express the good things about him, and compliment him when you see that he overcomes negative urges and stands up to challenges. I am sure that this will give him much strength.


One must work on two levels simultaneously—strengthening his positive attributes, complimenting him and expressing respect and admiration, while at the same time setting clear boundaries and not enabling unsuitable behaviors.


If all this does not help, make sure to get counseling.

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